Living With the Bully of Crohn's Disease

This book is my personal story of experiences with Crohn's disease over the past 47 years. The first five chapters delve into what I learned and the mistakes I made from a decade's long delay in diagnosis. This includes how I choose and work with my doctors, how to speak with others about Crohn's, the variety of medications, diets, and alternative therapies I tried, and how I learned to approach surgery to achieve the best results. While I attempted to manage this decades long cruel disease with pills, diet, and exercises, it was never curative and I was not able to maintain remission. The physical ailment of Crohn's continued to wear on me and I developed a new pathology of hopelessness, bitterness, humiliation, anger, and fear that became overwhelming. I realized if I was going to have any semblance of a joyful and productive life, I had to do something more. I recognized that Crohn's and my response to it had distressed my mind. I talked with my doctors and friends and their suggestions were always the same; stay positive and take medication if needed. While this was useful, it was not enough and I set out to work on a program of mental rehabilitation and healing. The final twelve chapters of this book are that story and include my approaches to managing my anger, fear, and guilt, creating healthy beliefs to counter my belief that I am victim and life is not fair, and recognizing and creating new uplifting experiences of gratitude, joy and forgiveness. While I still live with the Bully of Crohn's disease, this work on both my physical and mental health is what I needed and it has led to improved health and an optimistic outlook.