Publisher's Synopsis
It's not about what they call you, it's about what you answer to. So I decided to answer my calling to share my story of trial and triumph over the labels that did not truthfully "define" me. "To Heaux Or Not To Heaux" is a coming of age story about how one young woman, navigating the perils and pitfalls of young adulthood in a male dominated society, survived the double standard of being labeled a hoe. In one breath, young men are touted for and encouraged to "sow their wild oats" better known as having adventurous times and a lot of sex, but in another breath, the women they're having this good time with are being labeled as whores. Why aren't they just "sowing their wild oats" as well? Because for some reason, this patriarchal society doesn't believe women and men are equal, especially not when it comes to sex or pleasure. It's not true! Part of the reason men don't want women to gain or realize our sexual power is because they're afraid of what we might do with it. Could they be afraid that we'll violate them and use sex as a weapon as they do so often? We unpack that in this book. I share several events from my past to highlight how God as been good to be in spite of ... I also make no excuses, but give a full breakdown of where I was mentally and emotionally in those moments. It's necessary for each woman and young lady that will hold this memoir in her hand. No one thinks about where our heads or hearts are in these moments of vulnerability. No one considers the source of our behaviors. Each woman is unique and has her own story. Some women are empowered by their sexuality and some women are confused and traumatized by it. Some women have only had negative sexual experiences and some women have found nothing, but orgasms and money on their paths. Some women may not have had a father in the home or a mothers love, other women just like that feeling! But no matter which woman you are, all of us need some healing from The Heartbreak Hotel, even if we broke our own hearts at times. This is a call to forgive ourselves so we can move forward! Then let's challenge the status quo! I have a daughter and I won't allow her to make the same mistakes I made, nor will I allow the world to condemn her for being the type of woman who carries her own condoms. If we were being taught more instead of shamed, women and men could create an open and honest to love and appreciate one another. But instead we perpetuate The Battle of The Sexes and expect women to always take the short end of the stick. Those days are over! I grew up in the Bible Belt and even if you move away from your small hometown and become a major start, "Your Hoeness Cannot Be Deleted". Haha! I find it strange that the church is the least forgiving and still might cast their vote for you to go to hell even if you repent! That's why we're grateful God has the last say! So buckle up because I'm about to take you on a wild ride through the backwoods of Alabama to Atlanta, from the church house to the strip club aka "Heaux House".
